Top 10 Baby Girl Names for 2017: Presidential Edition
10. McKinley 9. Madison 8. Taylor 7. Tyler 6. Kennedy 5. Carter 4. Grant 3. Reagan 2. Nixon 1. Mar-A-Lago
For Years I Tried To Read Don Quixote
For years, I tried to read Don Quixote, Revering the Spaniard writer in me, Skimming a thin abridged edition, Sophomoric in World History. Later, greater windmills. Exotic becomes quixotic. The bookmark stops. Again. Dare you go on, Wannabe pícaro? No. Gracias. We underdogs Know the ending anyway, Some will never get their …
Trump Campaign Pre-Approved Alternatives to “Locker Room Banter”
Tee box talk Spa convo Limo gossip Humidor chat C-suite speak Green Room gab Yacht joshing Casino jabber Helicopter prattle
People Familiar With The Matter
Informants Spokespersons Consultants Insiders Pundits Chairpersons Investors Experts Chiefs of Staff Middle and/or Senior management Presumptive press secretaries Whistle blowers Assistants Heads of security Deputies Aides Lieutenants Handlers Stylists Gadflies Roommates Estheticians Mavens Escorts Drivers Ghosts Writers Ghost writers Surrogates (sex or otherwise) Professional cuddlers Aunt Kathi
For Years I Tried To Become A Buddhist
For years I tried to become a Buddhist Fascinated with its harsh simplicity, How it all points back to one. Such is the way, The path to enlightenment That the young rich boy embarked upon, Shunning his worldly possessions for want of nothing. Even the river, The water, The rocks, All metaphor, Not real. Really. …
For Years I Tried To Start Smoking
For years I tried to start smoking, scurrying out before theme parties: Bad Taste Ball, Red Light, Pajammy Jam—to pick up Pall Malls, Only to find the shreds of tobacco slipping past my lips. Tonight, some fifteen years later, I rushed out for a walk, alone, Minus wife, kids, mother-in-law, Left a flat cauldron of …
Top 20 Genderfluid / PC Celebrity Baby Names For 2016
20. Prophet 19. Farcy 18. Eyesys 17. Cray 16. Kobalt 15. Siry 14. Janeiro 13. Onovan 12. Moji 11. Tag 10. Bernie 9. Trending 8. Pluto 7. Tombrady 6. Sheeran 5. Bey 4. Jenner 3. Pat 2. X-Pro II 1. One
Pilgrims
Toddy hurled the dice at his sister Maggie the very instant their father Elmer opened the door to let the motel housekeeper in. Maggie screamed, boomeranging the Wa-Hoo game board at Toddy in retaliation, marbles flying in all directions. Toddy ducked and laughed. The housekeeper peeked over Elmer, who tried his best Bosnian on the …
Anthropocene
Do your push ups in the sun, little one. Still spastic, plastic, After all these millennia. We rule the school now! Yet, We’re as big as we’ll ever be. You still have a chance, to dance To pulverize our little bones In your jaws of life.
Of the Taco: An Open Letter to Taco Bell’s new sauces
Dear Taco Bell, There are few places a part-time vegetarian of Hispanic origin can get Mexican-type food quickly. McDonald’s rolled out a chicken wrap in a tortilla, but that, of course, contained meat. Burger King, Wendy’s, and Arby’s? Not a single item that appeals to the brown in me. Now, Carl’s Jr I have to …
Of the Taco: An Open Letter to Taco Bell’s new sauces Read More »